


Rabbit Heart

by MaxMattel666



Series: EnnoTana HCs [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Fights, Future Fic, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Living Together, M/M, Miscommunication, Porn With Plot, Protective Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Tanaka is the best boyfriend, Unsafe Sex, Words of Affirmation, bottom!Ennoshita, insecure Ennoshita Chikara, top!Tanaka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:20:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25680469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxMattel666/pseuds/MaxMattel666
Summary: “Can we please just get this over with?” Ennoshita’s words stop Tanaka right in his tracks.
Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Series: EnnoTana HCs [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873042
Comments: 5
Kudos: 154





	Rabbit Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [handsonmyeyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/handsonmyeyes/gifts).



> AH I am so sorry I haven't been posting regularly!! This fic has taken me forever to write and I'm still not entirely satisfied with it but here we go. I've been really in my EnnoTana feels lately and have basically been talking about them non-stop with my best friend. Also if you follow me for YOI content, I promise I'm working on things. It's hard juggling conflicting motivations when you're writing four fics at once and also working full-time during a pandemic while also getting ready to go back to university 😅
> 
> As a side note*, I took down my last fic in my podium family series because I was unhappy with it. I wrote it because I had gotten a lot of requests for it, not necessarily because I wanted to write it. I also got some upsetting comments and wanted to take a little bit of a break to rethink what I wanted to do with the series, so please just be patient with me. If you ever want to reach out to me, you can message me on tumblr @arminita-muscaria. 
> 
> I hope you all are doing well and are staying happy and healthy. Also please check out the links in my bio for information to the Black Lives Matter movement.

The weight of the day hangs heavy around Ennoshita’s neck, even as Tanaka trails sweet kisses across his skin. Ennoshita feels torn between wanting to melt into his boyfriend and wanting to sink into their mattress and fall asleep. His day at work had been grueling, and keeping up his image of ‘I have everything under control all the time’, had left him drained. He had come home with his shoulders slumped and eyelids heavy, only to be greeted by his boyfriend, Tanaka, who instantly seemed intent on taking care of him. 

Sex enabled Ennoshita to let go, to sink out of himself and relinquish all the tension and control he held himself up with. At work and out in his daily life, Ennoshita tended to be a little high strung. He held himself rigidly, always putting on a brave face and getting his work done on time. Ennoshita had come home later than usual, a project at work with a deadline fast approaching had required that he stay late, resulting in Ennoshita coming home wrung out and exhausted. After a quick dinner, Tanaka had guided Ennoshita into their bed, intent on taking care of his boyfriend and making him feel good. With Tanaka, Ennoshita could let it all melt away. That was what had been on the forefront of Tanaka’s mind as he kissed at Ennoshita’s jaw and ran his hands up and down his boyfriend’s sides.

Most nights Ennoshita would have loved nothing more than to come home and fall into bed with Tanaka, who was gentle and loving and always made Ennoshita feel so good. But tonight Ennoshita feels at odds with his own desires. Tanaka had smiled at him so sweetly when he wrapped his arms around Ennoshita and welcomed him home. He had followed a giddy Tanaka upstairs with a wordless nod, which usually would have been enough to tell Tanaka what Ennoshita wanted, but Ennoshita pushed his uncertainty down in favor of not having to find his words.

But as Tanaka is kissing the inside of Ennoshita’s thigh, he finally speaks up and blurts out, “can we please just get this over with?” 

Ennoshita’s words stop Tanaka right in his tracks. He ceases the movement of his hands from roaming the plains of Ennoshita’s sides but doesn’t pull away entirely. He blinks down at his boyfriend with wide eyes. Tanaka knew the other boy was tired, Ennoshita had even said that he’d had a long day at work. Tanaka had thought that this was exactly what Ennoshita wanted after the day he had had, but he gasps as he watches Ennoshita turn over onto he’s on his hands and knees, a position he doesn’t usually take. 

“Come on,” he groans. “Just use me, alright?” Ennoshita lets the offer slip past his lips without thinking. He’s so tired and so wound up that he just wants to cum and for it be over with. Usually Tanaka takes his time with Ennoshita, but Ennoshita doesn’t know if he can stand their usual two hours and instead finds himself begging to be used quickly. 

“Oh o-okay,” Tanaka stutters, tentatively grabbing onto his boyfriend’s hips and pulling them back flush against his own. He reaches over Ennoshita and rummages through the nightstand drawer for condoms and lube, retrieving them quickly. He rolls the condom on before slicking his cock and fingers with the lube. Slowly he brings one finger down to circle around Ennoshita’s hole, his other hand coming to rest gently on the small of Ennoshita’s back. Tanaka presses his finger in carefully which elicits a high pitched whine from Ennoshita. He pushes back, steadies himself on one elbow and tucks his chin down against his chest. With his other hand he reaches back for Tanaka, urging the process along. 

“Please,” Ennoshita whimpers, canting his hips back until Tanaka’s finger is buried to the knuckle. Tanaka only manages to finger Ennoshita for a few quick minutes before he’s pleading, “come on, please, I’m ready.” 

Tanaka winces softly and he begins to line himself up and press in carefully. Ennoshita lets out an exasperated groan and pitches himself backwards, forcing himself down on Tanaka’s cock in one fluid movement. The former ace has to choke back a gasp. Usually he’s gentle and slow with Ennoshita. He lavishes in the time it takes to prepare him, a good amount of foreplay followed by Tanaka eating Ennoshita out and then finally stretching him with his fingers until Ennoshita is loose and ready. But Tanaka had barely begun to really get into it when Ennoshita had huffed that he wanted it to be over with. 

“W-what are you waiting for?” Ennoshita pants. The tone of his voice clearly indicates that he is in some kind of pain. 

“Chikara...” Tanaka whispers as he moves to drape himself over the other boy’s back. 

“Keep going. Move,” Ennoshita says, his tone a little demanding. He looks over his shoulder at Tanaka and the former ace feels his heart clench. Ennoshita’s eyes are half-lidded and he’s panting. “Keep going,” he says again, this time through gritted teeth. 

Tanaka drops his forehead against Ennoshita’s back between his shoulder blades and begins to pull out before pressing in again. He holds Ennoshita’s hips firmly and sighs when he feels Ennoshita squirming beneath him. Usually Tanaka relishes in pulling those sort of reactions out of his boyfriend but instead he feels knots twisting in his stomach. Something doesn’t feel right. 

Ennoshita’s hands are fisted tightly in the sheets beneath him but he doesn’t ask Tanaka to instead. Instead he encourages him, telling Tanaka to keep going until he feels the former ace’s hip bones against his ass. It hurts but Ennoshita won’t admit to that. He just wants to cum and go to bed after the shitty day he had had. And if that meant a little pain then he didn’t mind, at least he could give Tanaka this. It would probably be better like this anyways, Ennoshita figures. They’re usually at it for at least an hour before Tanaka cums and Ennoshita reasons that there’s no way that’s fair. Tanaka must want to be able to just get off sometimes, he thinks. 

Except there’s nothing Tanaka would rather do that worship his boyfriend. Tanaka takes his time with Ennoshita because to him sex is more than just the means to an end, it’s a way he can show Ennoshita just how much he loves him. Tanaka likes to be tender and gentle. He likes to open Ennoshita up slowly and make sure that his boyfriend feels nothing but good. Except now Ennoshita seems to be withering in what must be pain beneath Tanaka. 

“Chikara,” Tanaka bottoms out again finally, saying his boyfriend’s name with a shaky breath. “Are you su-”

“Fuck me,” Ennoshita groans, pressing himself back against Tanaka. “Come on,” his voice is filled to the brim with frustration. Tanaka doesn’t respond and goes quiet for a moment, looking down at his boyfriend’s shaking body beneath him. 

“Ryuu,” Ennoshita sighs, then there’s a beat of silence before Ennoshita continues. He digs his fingers into the sheets and doesn’t look back at Tanaka when he speaks, “will you please just do it?” Tanaka can hear the defeat in Ennoshita’s voice. “I need it,” he whimpers. 

Tanaka groans low in his throat and slowly begins to finally thrust in and out of Ennoshita. The desperate way Ennoshita is asking for him makes Tanaka want to give him whatever he wants. If this is how he wants to have sex then Tanaka will give that to him, even if there’s something that unsettles him about not being able to see his boyfriend’s face or kiss his cheeks. This feels far more like just sex than making love. 

“Harder,” Ennoshita pants, it sounds like both a demand and a plea at the same time. “Harder,” he says again as Tanaka’s hips begin to stutter and threaten to slow. Whimpers are starting to spill from Ennoshita’s lips and usually Tanaka loves the noises that his boyfriend makes but these sounds make Tanaka’s chest ache. Ennoshita sounds feral and in pain, but he keeps begging for Tanaka to take him. 

Tanaka wants to give Ennoshita what he is asking for and Tanaka knows that his boyfriend only begs when he is wrought tight with need. So he speeds up and fucks Ennoshita fast and wordlessly, just grunting against Ennoshita’s back as he thrusts in and out. It’s over quickly, Ennoshita reaching down to finish himself off and Tanaka spilling into the condom only a few minutes later. Tanaka cums, but it doesn’t feel good. Instead it feels like a rubber band snapping and he pulls out of Ennoshita right away, which is something he doesn’t usually do. Typically the couple basks together in the afterglow for a while with Ennoshita squirming slightly under the warm and comforting weight of Tanaka on top of him. But now Tanaka pulls out and pushes off the bed, tossing the condom into the trash before pulling his sweat pants back on. 

“I’ll be right back,” he murmurs, stepping out of the room to grab Ennoshita a glass of water, something he usually does after they have sex. Ennoshita mumbles something unintelligible back and the noise makes Tanaka worry a little, but he sets his mind to getting Ennoshita water because they can talk when he gets back from the kitchen. 

But when Tanaka comes back into their bedroom, Ennoshita is already asleep. He’s usually worn out from sex but they had only gone one round and typically Ennoshita likes to cling to Tanaka afterwards. Tanaka would pet his hair and kiss his face and Ennoshita would make happy little noises, but it doesn’t look like any of that aftercare is going to happen tonight. There’s a sinking feeling in Tanaka’s stomach as he looks over at his sleeping boyfriend. He’s tucked in on himself in the fetal position, curled away from the centre of the bed and facing the nightstand instead of Tanaka’s side. Rationally, Tanaka knows that this isn’t on purpose but he still can’t help the tightness in his chest that comes when he crawls into bed. He considers waking Ennoshita for a moment but then decides against it. 

Tanaka lays flat on his back and stares up at the ceiling. There’s part of him that wants to wrap himself around Ennoshita, loop his arms around the other boy’s waist and hold him close. But at the same time, Tanaka somehow feels like Ennoshita is suddenly a world away. He listens to Ennoshita’s even breathing as he folds his arms over his chest, keeping his hands to himself. Tanaka lies awake for hours, just replaying the night’s events over and over in his head until all he can hear is the desperate and exhausted way Ennoshita had pleaded. It makes his head swim for hours before he finally manages to fall into a fitful sleep.

~

The following evening, Ennoshita comes home late after being asked to stay behind and work on their upcoming project once again. Work had been wearing him ragged lately and he felt dead on his feet. He makes his way into the kitchen and is greeted by the sight of Tanaka washing dishes. Instinctively, Ennoshita wanders over to his boyfriend and moves to rest his forehead against Tanaka’s back, right over his shoulder blade. 

“Hey,” Ennoshita sighs heavily, letting his shoulders droop. 

“Hi, how was work?” Tanaka asks, drying the plate that he’s holding. 

“Mmm, fine,” Ennoshita hums. 

“Chikara?” Tanaka’s voice shakes slightly as he says his boyfriend’s name. Ennoshita pulls back and blinks rapidly as Tanaka turns around, bracing his hands on the sink behind him. “Can we talk?” 

Ennoshita feels his heart drop into his stomach. He immediately jumps miles ahead of the situation and the terrifying thought that Tanaka is breaking up with him comes to the forefront of Ennoshita’s mind. The words, we need to talk, have always invoked this sort of reaction in Ennoshita, no matter how gently they are said. 

Tanaka reaches out to take Ennoshita’s hand, carefully holding it in two of his own. “I… don’t feel good about last night,” Tanaka confesses. His eyes flicker from Ennoshita and then back down to their joined hands, nervous to meet his boyfriend’s gaze. 

“Last night?” Ennoshita asks, pulling his hand away shaking. He takes a step back and looks at Tanaka curiously, not understanding what the other boy is trying to get at. Tanaka is usually one to say things straightforward and as he means them. But when he and Ennoshita fight, Tanaka has a tendency to dance around what he really wants to say because he knows how Ennoshita tends to jump to conclusions. 

“It didn’t- it didn’t feel right. I don’t know. I don’t like not being able to see your face and you sounded like you were in pain…” Tanaka trails off. He doesn’t know why his voice is shaking so much. He knows it’s a conversation that they need to have, thinking about it had been eating at Tanaka all day, but that didn’t make it any easier to actually talk about. 

“Maybe it wasn’t what we normally do,” Ennoshita raises an eyebrow as he speaks. “But it was fine for me so don’t worry about it.” His dismissive tone sets Tanaka more on edge, who takes a deep breath. An awkward silence hangs over the couple that Ennoshita feels like he needs to fill. If he’s talking then Tanaka can’t be and Tanaka can’t tell him how he’s ruined things. “It’s fine, so we’re fine right?” Ennoshita gulps. 

“It wasn’t fine for me though,” he speaks up, finally catching Ennoshita’s eyes. “It’s not just about-” 

Ennoshita grits his teeth, cutting Tanaka off. He feels like there’s something Tanaka isn’t saying, something much worse, and it makes him wince internally as if bracing for the worst. “What are you saying?” Ennoshita’s eyes are narrow and Tanaka knows that their conversation has become a losing battle. 

Tanaka holds his hand out, as if offering it up to Ennoshita to grasp while he breaks some horrible news. At least that’s how Ennoshita sees it, but Tanaka just wants to hold his hand and talk about what happened, “I didn’t like how we had sex last night. It didn’t feel right and I didn’t like it and I just...“ he trails off again. 

“Just what?” Ennoshita asks, his tone pointed as he takes another step backwards. He feels put out, even a little ashamed. But Ennoshita is defensive and he doesn’t like confrontation. He can be aggressive when he feels like he’s being attacked. Tanaka is using a tone he hardly if ever, has used before and there’s this look on his face that Ennoshita interprets as pity. It makes his stomach turn. 

“I didn’t like feeling like I was using you,” Tanaka explains finally. He’s chewing at the inside of his cheek nervously but Ennoshita doesn’t see that. Instead he sees the way Tanaka’s eyes have left his face once again and it hurts. Everything about the situation is putting Ennoshita on edge and he can feel his heart racing in his chest. 

“That’s what I told you to do,” he retorts. “I was exhausted and tired and we always go so slow! I thought maybe I could just give myself over to you and you could use me or something. It at least seemed like you enjoyed it last night so I don’t know why it’s such a big deal now.” They’re fighting words that minimize Tanaka’s own feelings about the situation but Ennoshita doesn’t see that, doesn’t even consider it. All he can think is no no no don’t leave me, this can’t be what makes you leave me. 

“That’s not… I don’t want it to be like that for us,” Tanaka counters. He can feel his own impatience growing. He just wants to talk things out with his boyfriend and make sure that everything is okay. He doesn’t want to fight, he hates fighting with Ennoshita. 

“I thought you’d like it,” Ennoshita bites back, his voice slightly raised. “You- you always spend so much time on me and you can’t actually like that. I just wanted to get it over with and for you to feel good. If you want to use me then I’ll let you!” His chest is heavy and his heart is hammering fast in his chest. He feels like he’s being cornered even though they’re standing in the middle of the kitchen. He feels like he’s begging Tanaka to stay, but it’s coming out far harsher and more accusatory than he realizes. 

“I don’t want to use you, Chikara. What- what are you even saying?” Tanaka looks at his boyfriend in complete confusion. Where had all of this come from? 

“Can we please just go to bed?” Ennoshita sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between his pointer finger and thumb. He doesn’t want to have this conversation, he wants to shut it down and shove it away. He is completely overwhelmed. 

Tanaka sighs deeply, knowing that there’s no way Ennoshita will reconcile with him tonight. He doesn’t want his boyfriend to go to bed angry but he feels like there’s nothing he can do. “I think I’m going to sleep down here tonight,” Tanaka says, trying to keep his tone as light as possible. He doesn’t know why he suggests it but he does. He just needs some space. He’s hurting and Ennoshita is hurting. It’s all too much. It’s late and he feels drained and he doesn’t want to go to bed upset but it doesn’t seem like he and Ennoshita are going to understand one another tonight. 

Ennoshita feels anger rising in his chest. He wants to scream. His eyes narrow as he peers at Tanaka, who is eyeing him carefully. “Fine.” Ennoshita scoffs before turning and marching up the stairs. He feels blinded by his emotions as he storms into their room. He climbs into bed immediately and buries himself under the covers. How had everything gone so wrong? Ennoshita looks over at the other side of the bed which is left vacant. He wants Tanaka on top of him and holding him and making that happy little face that he always makes when they’re in bed together, but Ennoshita also just wants to be alone. He feels raw and defensive. Everytime he and Tanaka fight, on the very rare occasion that they do, Ennoshita throws his walls up without hesitation. He hates confrontation and takes everything to heart. 

He grumbles to himself as he screws his eyes shut, desperately hoping that he’ll find sleep. He doesn’t want to think, he doesn’t want to analyze last night’s activities over and over in his head, and he most certainly doesn’t want to replay the pitying lilt of Tanaka’s voice as he had told Ennoshita he wouldn’t be joining him in their bed that night. He tosses and turns, his hands subconsciously reaching across the mattress for a body that isn’t there. The second time Ennoshita finds himself patting the space next to him, he lets out a defeated whimper, yet he cannot bring himself to go back downstairs. 

Downstairs, Tanaka moves through the kitchen into the living room and lets himself collapse onto the couch. He rests his elbows on his knees and holds his head in his hands. He nearly jumps when he hears a door slam upstairs, no doubt the one to his and Ennoshita’s shared bedroom. What have I done? He thinks. He replays last night in his mind as he winces to himself, trying to wrack his brain for something he could have done to make Ennoshita feel like Tanaka wanted to just… use him. 

Tanaka rubs his hands over his face and sighs heavily. He had only wanted to talk things out with Ennsohita, the guilt had been eating him up all day. He didn’t like what had happened the night before. Sure, he had technically gotten off but he didn’t really enjoy it. And it made his chest ache when he thought about Ennoshita assuming Tanaka would want to just use him like that. Tanaka took his time with Ennoshita because he liked to. Tanaka was attracted to everything about Ennoshita, including his body. Having sex, or “making love” as Tanaka always called it, was just one of the ways Tanaka liked to show Ennoshita how much he loved him. He loved making Ennoshita feel good, making sure that Ennoshita knew he was wanted and desired by Tanaka. Sex also gave Ennoshita the chance to relax and get out of his own head for a little bit and Tanaka always made sure to take care of Ennoshita when he was in that vulnerable state. Tanaka prided himself on the fact that Ennoshita trusted him so deeply, but the night before made Tanaka question if Ennoshita was uncomfortable and or unsatisfied. 

Tanaka’s shoulders droop and he takes another deep breath in and out. Reluctantly he sinks into the couch, pulling a throw blanket around him. The fabric is soft but it feels cold and it doesn’t carry the same comforting scent that his and Ennsohita’s bed does. His arms feel empty as they lay idly tucked against his chest. Sleep doesn’t come as easily as it usually does that night. 

~

The two of them don’t talk the next morning. Instead they hover around each other awkwardly in the kitchen for a few minutes as Tanaka makes his morning protein shake before heading to the gym. Ennoshita eats a bowl of cereal at the counter and keeps his head down. As much as he wants to look over at Tanaka, he won’t let himself. He feels angry about sleeping alone, still thrown completely off kilter by the absence of Tanaka in their bed the night before. Tanaka looks behind him every few seconds, hoping that he’ll catch Ennoshita’s eyes but he doesn’t. 

Ennoshita barely registers Tanaka’s goodbye of “I’ll be home at the usual time, have a good day, love you,”. Instead he stares at his bowl of now soggy cereal, ruminating about the night before. He crosses his arms over his chest and curls in on himself a bit. He looks over at the couch and the throw blanket that’s crumpled up in the corner. He stares at it and tries to remember what it feels like to share a blanket with Tanaka. He’s only missed one night sleeping with his boyfriend and yet he feels like it’s been forever. He wants Tanaka’s arms around him and his sturdy chest against his back but he also feels resentment for having to sleep by himself. He had gotten so used to Tanaka’s presence that their bedroom felt cold and void without him. Ennoshita hadn’t been able to fall asleep until the early hours of the morning after having spent hours angrily tossing and turning. 

Ennoshita knew that he was being passive aggressive by ignoring Tanaka, and he knew that Tanaka didn’t want to fight, but he couldn’t help but feel defensive. He ruminates over their fight all day at work, just going through the motions of his day. Ennoshita barely registers what he’s doing and it’s like he’s rubbing on autopilot. When he’s asked to stay late once again, he doesn’t even shrug. If he’s not home then he doesn’t have to face Tanaka. 

When Ennoshita comes home that evening he finds Tanaka asleep on the couch once again. He had been kept in the office late and missed dinner. He glances over to the kitchen and sees a few dishes resting on the drying rack. Oh, Tanaka must have eaten already, Ennoshita assumes. He lets out a little sigh before deciding to not bother with making dinner even though it's late. He tells himself he isn’t that hungry anyways. He looks back over at Tanaka who is curled up on their couch. This time he has a pillow from their bed and an extra blanket pulled over himself. Ennoshita feels his hands curl up into fists at his sides. There is something innately upsetting to him about seeing a piece of their bed on the couch with Tanaka. It doesn’t sit right with Ennoshita and makes his stomach turn slightly. Tanaka’s arms are looped around the pillow like they would usually be looped around his boyfriend. Ennoshita feels a mix of longing and guilt settle in his chest uncomfortably as he thinks about how the two of them usually sleep together, Tanaka with his head on Ennoshita’s chest and arms wrapped around his waist, a steady and comforting weight on top of him. 

Tanaka’s position on the couch looks cramped and uncomfortable, but Ennoshita doesn’t even consider waking his boyfriend. Usually on nights that he has to stay late at work, Tanaka stays up and waits for him. If Ennoshita has been caught up and forgotten to text Tanaka that he’ll be late coming home, he always gets a flurry of texts. But today he had received nothing of the sort. He feels his heart sink. Some part of him had hoped that he would come home that evening and everything would magically be okay again. But of course, it wasn’t and it looks like Ennoshita will be sleeping alone again. 

Ennoshita takes off his jacket and slips it from his shoulders, hanging it on the coat hook by their door. He toes off his shoes and lets his shoulders sink. He can feel the tiredness in his bones. He had barely slept the night before, tossing and turning as he occupied the bed alone. He had gotten so used to Tanaka’s presence that his absence in their bedroom had thrown everything off kilter for Ennoshita. He takes one last look at Tanaka before heading upstairs, completely unaware that there’s a plate made up for him sitting in the microwave with a sticky note that reads, Please wake me up when you get home. Love, Ryuu. 

Ennoshita goes to bed alone again, but tonight he’s sad instead of angry. He misses Tanaka, having barely spoken a word to him that day. It wasn’t like Ennoshita was intentionally giving his boyfriend the silent treatment, but rather he was terrified that talking about it would ruin everything. Talking about what had happened would give Tanaka the opportunity to confront Ennoshita about it and that was what really scared him. Guilt gnaws at his chest as he once again slips into bed by himself. Except this time he settles himself on Tanaka’s side, the one that is missing a pillow. Ennoshita reaches across the mattress and grabs his own pillow from the other side of the bed. Instead of tucking it under his head he settles in atop his torso, mimicking the way Tanaka lays on him when they sleep together. The weight and pressure are not the same but it is still somewhat soothing to Ennoshita. He dips his face down and presses it into the edge of the pillow and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t realize that he’s crying until he feels the wet fabric of the pillowcase sticking to his face. He sniffles softly and buries his face into the pillow further, he misses Tanaka so much. 

When another day passes with them barely speaking, Ennoshita reaches a breaking point. After coming home late again, he comes home to find Tanaka slumped against the couch, pillow settled in his lap. 

“Can- can you please come upstairs tonight?” Ennoshita asks, his eyes on the floor. He hears breath hitch but doesn’t look up to see his boyfriend’s face. Instead he chews at the inside of his cheek and keeps his head down. It’s not a pride thing, Ennoshita finally just feels so worn down and desperate. He needs to know that Tanaka isn’t pulling away for good. He feels dangerously close to Tanaka slipping through his fingers and so he asks again, “please come upstairs.” 

“We need to talk about the other night,” Tanaka sighs softly, taking a few steps forward. He looks at Ennoshita tenderly and reaches out to touch his arm. 

“I fucked up, like I really fucked up. I miss you so much and I hate sleeping alone and please just come to bed,” Ennoshita starts. He’s speaking quickly, stumbling over his words as he looks up at Tanaka with a flighty gaze. “I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was so tired and I wanted it to be over, but I didn’t want to deny you because you seemed like you wanted to be intimate and you always go out of your way to make me feel so good but it takes so long and I just wanted you to be able to use me to get off so we could go to bed and I just-” 

“You can always say ‘no’, if you want to, Chikara. I love you and I love showing you but it’s okay if you’re tired or if you just don’t want to,” Tanaka says gently, caressing his thumb over the skin of Ennoshita’s arm. Ennoshita carefully grabs Tanaka’s hand with his own, taking a slight step forward. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, trailing his fingers along Tanaka’s forearm. “I should have figured out what to say. I’m so sorry, Ryuu,” Ennoshita apologizes again genuinely, holding the other man’s arm in his hands. Ennoshita gently rubs one of his thumbs across Tanaka’s wrist bone as he looks up into his boyfriend’s warm eyes. 

“Are- are we okay now?” Tanaka asks. There’s a nervousness to his tone that Ennoshita has never heard before. Tanaka’s eyes are glued to where Ennoshita is holding his arm. Usually Ennoshita is the one to ask such a question, unable to get the nagging voice out of the back of his head that tells him he isn’t enough for Tanaka. 

“Yeah,” Ennoshita breaths, “we’re okay.” 

Tanaka nods but doesn’t move. Usually the former ace is pretty handsy, especially when the two are this close. Plus Ennoshita is touching him, something that doesn’t usually happen unless Tanaka is the one who initiates the contact. Ennoshita almost gasps aloud when the realization hits him; Tanaka’s nervous to touch him. The brunette has to push back the sudden weight of guilt that he feels on his chest, remembering how he had so blatantly discouraged his boyfriend from touching him lovingly. 

Ennoshita rubs comforting circles with his thumb into Tanaka’s warm skin, gently showing his boyfriend that he wants him too. “I didn’t do this right the other night so… so let me take care of you, okay?” Ennoshita suggests with just a hint of nervousness. If he can initiate then maybe Tanaka will follow. Their eyes lock and Tanaka looks a little bit confused. Usually he was the one who offered to take care of Ennoshita. Ennoshita looks over at the bed and then back to Tanaka before nudging the other’s shoulder slightly to signal that he should lay down. Tanaka lets out a small gasp in realization before turning and settling on the bed, still dressed, “o-okay,” he answers. 

Ennoshita moves to get on top of Tanaka, straddling across the taller boy’s waist. Tanaka looks up at his boyfriend with wide eyes as a pink blush spread across his face. Ennoshita knows he is blushing too, he can feel the heat rising in his cheeks but he elects to ignore it. He has larger concerns at hand. Tanaka stares up at Ennoshita in awe, taking in the sight above him. Ennoshita moves to place his hands on Tanaka’s toned stomach, carefully swiping over the expanse of his torso with light touches over his shirt. Tanaka feels solid under Ennoshita’s hands and Ennoshita has to take a series of deep breaths before he gets too excited. He can feel the dips of Tanaka’s muscles under his palms and the heat that seems to always radiate off of Tanaka’s skin feels especially warm after almost two whole days apart. 

Ennoshita pulls Tanaka’s shirt up off over his head and trails feather light kisses down the middle of Tanaka’s torso. He looks up at Tanaka with half-lidded eyes, “lemme suck you off,” he mumbles. He averts his eyes from Tanaka’s gaze, feeling a little embarrassed. 

“Ah, Chikara, please,” Tanaka pants, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better look at his boyfriend. 

Ennoshita smiles softly and moves off the bed, settling on his knees on the floor. The former captain is truly a sight to behold on his knees between Tanaka’s legs, the pink blush had spread even further across his cheeks and down his throat. Tentatively, Tanaka runs his thumb across the soft skin of Ennoshita’s cheek and that was all the encouragement the other boy needs. Ennoshita leans into Tanaka’s caress for a moment before he peels away Tanaka’s basketball shorts. He stares for a moment before dipping his head down, coming eye level with Tanaka’s aching cock. Ennoshita sticks out his tongue, wide and flat, giving a few little kitten licks to the swollen purple head. Ennoshita licks a stripe from the base of Tanaka’s cock to his tip, flattening his tongue out and letting some drool drip down. He sucks the head of Tanaka’s cock into his mouth and rolls his tongue against the tip which causes Tanaka to squirm beneath him. Ennoshita wraps one hand around the base of Tanaka’s cock and begins to stroke him gently while his other hand lays firmly on top of Tanaka’s muscular thigh. 

Ennoshita bobs up and down slowly, taking his time making Tanaka feel good. He hollows out his cheeks as he draws upwards and Tanaka groans low at the sensation. Tanaka threads one hand through Ennoshita’s soft hair carefully in an effort to ground himself and stop his hips from bucking up. Ennoshita pulls off Tanaka's swollen cock and moves to place hot, open-mouthed kisses along his length. His eyes slide closed as he mouths at Tanaka, enjoying the salty taste of his skin. He moans around Tanaka, enjoying the feeling of Tanaka in his mouth and the weight of him on his tongue. Ennoshita relishes in the way he can feel Tanaka coming undone beneath him. Usually it’s Tanaka making him shake but Ennoshita wants to take care of his boyfriend and show just how much he appreciates him. 

Ennoshita takes his time, licking long lines up the underside of Tanaka’s cock, drooling sloppily and humming around the head whenever he closes his lips around it. He knows that Tanaka likes it a little messy, and he especially likes to watch Ennoshita lose himself just a tiny bit. Tanaka can barely stop his hips from twitching at the sight of Ennoshita’s plush lips bobbing up and down around him. Ennoshita preens at the silent praise that is Tanaka’s eagerness. But the way Tanaka groans only serves to spur Ennoshita too. With that, he pushes his mouth lower and lower until he has taken all of Tanaka into his mouth. Tanaka’s eyes go as wide as dinner plates as he feels the head of his cock hit the back of Ennoshita’s throat and it takes all of his willpower not to fuck Ennoshita’s face. Just the thought of it makes Tanaka’s hips twitch. 

“Baby,” Tanaka moans, throwing his head back as he does. His head feels fuzzy and all he can think about is taking Ennoshita slowly and burying his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder while he spills inside of him. It’s Tanaka’s favourite way to have sex. But Ennoshita is the one running the show tonight, of his own volition of course. 

Ennoshita pulls off Tanaka’s cock with a wet ‘pop’, and shuffles over to the nightstand to retrieve a bottle of lube. Tanaka watches him intently as Ennoshita once again settles himself between Tanaka’s legs. He mouths sloppily at the insides of Tanaka’s thighs as he slicks up two of his fingers before bringing them between his own legs. Tanaka has to hold in a gasp as he watches the brunette look at him with glassy eyes as he begins to finger himself open while still pressing sloppy kisses against Tanaka’s thighs. 

Tanaka threads his fingers through Ennoshita’s hair as his chest heaves, completely in awe at the sight before him. Tanaka is almost always the one to prep Ennoshita, but there’s something incredibly hot about watching Ennoshita do it himself while he kisses and licks at Tanaka’s tanned thighs. Eventually Ennoshita swallows Tanaka down again, deep throating the former ace to the best of his ability while continuing to methodically stretch himself open. Tanaka doesn’t have a clear view of what exactly is going on between Ennoshita’s legs but he can feel his boyfriend’s hardness pressing against his shin just slightly. Ennoshita moans around him again, nearly knocking the wind out of Tanaka’s lungs. 

Tanaka reaches a hand to Ennoshita’s cheek and strokes it softly with his thumb. “You’re beautiful, baby,” he pants, looking down at Ennoshita who returns his gaze intensely. Ennoshita pulls off, his hot breath hitting Tanaka’s cock as the taller boy whines at the loss. Ennoshita looks up at Tanaka with an intense and lustful look in his eyes that makes Tanaka’s heart skip a beat. “C-can we? Please,” he asks, biting at the inside of his cheek nervously. He still wants to ask even though Ennoshita is calling the shots, it only feels right. 

“You want to, yeah?” Ennoshita pants and he rests his forehead against Tanaka’s knee, his fingers still pushing in and out of himself. 

“God, yes. Please,” Tanaka breaths. He bends over and cups Ennoshita’s face with both hands now, tilting his chin up so they can kiss. Ennoshita’s lips are red and swollen from sucking Tanaka’s cock and the former ace can’t help but nibble gently at the brunette's bottom lip. 

Tanaka helps Ennoshita to his feet and pulls him into the bed with him, Ennoshita straddling his hips. Ennoshita sits in Tanaka’s lap as his fist wraps loosely around Tanaka’s cock where it is now pressed against the brunette’s stomach. Tanaka stares at Ennoshita’s hand and moans loudly when he sees where his cock will sit in Ennoshita from the outside and just how deep he’ll be inside his boyfriend. Ennoshita’s hand feels good but nothing felt better than being inside him. Tanaka lets a low whine slip past his lips as he Ennoshita presses his hips forward just a bit so that their cocks brush against one another between their stomachs. 

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, Ryuu,” Ennoshita slurs, his breath hot against Tanaka’s ear as he bends over his boyfriend. 

Ennoshita grabs the lube bottle from beside their bed and drizzles the cool substance over Tanaka’s cock and slicks him up quickly. He positions himself above Tanaka’s cock and slowly pushes himself down, head thrown back exposing his bobbing Adam’s apple. Tanaka thinks Ennoshita looks like an angel. The brunette is flushed almost completely pink from his cheeks down to his chest and nothing could be more beautiful than this, Tanaka decides. Ennoshita sinks down onto Tanaka’s cock with a soft gasp, his head tilted back and throat bared. Tanaka rubs circles into Ennoshita’s hips as they both pant for a minute while Ennoshita adjusts. Ennoshita feels almost powerful with Tanaka beneath him and staring up at Ennoshita with that look of complete adoration. He wanted to take care of Tanaka, and he would make good of that promise. 

Tanaka pushes himself up onto his elbows to get a better view and reaches one hand out to caress Ennoshita’s pink cheek. He lets his eyes wander over his boyfriend’s skin, from his neck and then his collarbone, his shoulders and his chest, then finally coming to ogle at Ennoshita’s soft tummy. Ennoshita catches Tanaka staring at his middle and his breath hitches. One of the things that Tanaka loves most about Ennoshita’s body is how soft he is. He loves the subtle curves of Ennoshita’s hips and the softness of his waist and how thick his thighs are. Ennoshita knows that Tanaka loves these aspects of his body but he still struggles, often shying away from Tanaka’s gentle and loving touches because of his insecurities. But Ennoshita takes a deep, steadying breath as he reminds himself that Tanaka loves him and loves his body. 

Ennoshita motions for Tanaka to sit up and the former ace complies, propping himself up against the headboard and managing to stay inside Ennoshita at the same time. Once he’s resettled, Ennoshita’s fingers ghost over Tanaka’s where they had come to hold his hips. He guides his boyfriend’s larger hands upwards, placing them over his chest gently. Tanaka inhales sharply at the unexpected gesture. Ennoshita holds his hands over Tanaka’s for a few moments, keeping Tanaka’s hands in place over his pecs. Then Ennoshita begins to move, guiding Tanaka’s hands across his skin. One hand stays put on Ennoshita’s chest while the other is ushered down his sternum before coming to rest on the curve of his waist. Tanaka can’t help but give a little squeeze as his hips start to shift in time with Ennoshita’s. 

“Shit, baby…” Tanaka sighs, eyeing his boyfriend lustfully. Ennoshita doesn’t say anything but rather instead he squeezes around Tanaka and guides his other hand down, over Ennoshita’s stomach to land on his thigh. Tanaka marvels at Ennoshita’s body and how beautiful he looks with the soft bedroom light illuminating him from behind. In this position Tanaka can see just how far down Ennoshita’s blush has spread and it makes him want to kiss every inch of his boyfriend’s pink skin. “You’re so pretty, Chika. So so pretty,” Tanaka sighs happily, running his hand along Ennoshita’s thigh. 

Tentatively, Ennoshita places his hands flat on the plain of Tanaka’s abdomen to steady himself before gently beginning to rock up and down, riding Tanaka’s cock almost painfully slowly. Tanaka is in total awe as he watches the way Ennoshita’s body moves. Tanaka loves to watch Ennoshita’s body and just watch how the other boy moves. The curved lines of Ennoshita’s body have always driven Tanaka crazy. The rolling of his hips and powerful contractions of Ennoshita’s thighs have Tanaka cursing in no time. He’s never seen anything, anyone- as gorgeous as Ennoshita. 

“Fuck,” Tanaka swears as he watches Ennoshita move up and down, his hair flopping against his forehead. Tanaka’s mesmerized by the way Ennoshita’s body stretches to accommodate him moves and just how well he takes Tanaka. The former ace watches himself disappear inside of Ennoshita over and over again, picturing how deep inside he must be reaching. He pulls Ennoshita close as he drives into him hard and it feels like coming home. 

“Feel good?” Ennoshita pants as he grinds his hips down hard before beginning to pick up his pace. 

“Always, baby,” Tanaka slurs back. His mouth hangs open slightly as he watches Ennoshita in complete adoration. “You always make me feel so good.” 

Ennoshita brings one hand to rest on his boyfriend’s shoulder while the other grabs Tanaka’s hand that had been on his thigh. Ennoshita guides Tanaka’s hands around his knee and over the sensitive skin of his inner thigh, then up his side and over his chest, gently brushing his nipples. The contact makes Ennoshita shiver but his pace doesn’t falter. He then guides Tanaka’s hand across his skin, down his side, over his stomach and around until now both of Tanaka’s hands are settled on Ennoshita’s waist. Tanaka loves how Ennoshita’s waist looks in his grasp. 

Ennoshita moves forward until their lips are just brushing and leans in, kissing Tanaka passionately while he slings his arms around the other boy’s neck. Tanaka wraps his arms around Ennoshita’s soft waist and pulls him close, trapping Ennoshita’s cock between their abdomens. Ennoshita whimpers at the sensation but still doesn’t let up his pace. Soon they’re both panting heavily, licking into each other’s mouth as they kiss hastily. Their teeth clash a few times and they both can feel drool dripping down their chins but that doesn’t stop them. Sloppy kisses usually take precedence over chaste ones anyways. 

Tanaka buries his face in the dip between Ennoshita’s neck and his shoulder and sucks a dark hickey over his collarbone. Ennoshita’s fingers dig into the muscle of Tanaka’s back as he fucks himself down hard on Tanaka’s cock, meeting the fast thrust of the former ace’s hips. They only break from kissing to catch their breaths, which is really just panting against each other's mouth before they’re at it again, kissing like there was no tomorrow. They hold onto one another tightly, hot skin pressed together as they reveal in the overwhelming sensation of being together like this again. 

When they’re not kissing, Tanaka’s watching the Ennoshita in awe. The way his body moves, the flush of skin, the little bit of drool dribbling from his mouth, it’s all too much. Ennoshita’s eyes are glassy; he throws his head back, panting heavily while continuing to ride Tanaka hard and fast. Watching the way Ennoshita’s thighs are working makes Tanaka want to flip them over and kiss at Ennoshita’s legs until he’s trembling, but he’s too mesmerized to move. Instead Tanaka runs his hands up and down the tops of Ennoshita’s thighs as he listens to Ennoshita whimper. 

Tanaka dips his head slightly to kiss Ennoshita's jaw as he feels his boyfriend clenching around him. Ennoshita’s mouth hangs open now, a slur of moans escapes his lips without restraint and it makes Tanaka’s head swim. Soon Ennoshita’s whispering “more, more,” like a prayer and Tanaka doesn’t know how much longer he can last. The need behind Ennoshita’s begging is genuine and Tanaka can hear the desire in his voice, which only serves to edge him closer. 

“Please, ah! I’m gon- gonna cum soon,” Tanaka warns, fingers digging into Ennoshita’s soft waist. He clutches at Ennoshita like he never wants to let him go. After two days apart, he can’t fathom ever not touching Ennoshita again. He feels Ennoshita squeezing around him, an intense reminder of just how close they are in this moment. 

“In me,” Ennoshita gasps, clawing at Tanaka’s upper back. “Cum in me, Ryuu.” 

Tanaka feels his chest rumble and he clutches at Ennoshita tighter, he wants to fill Ennoshita up in every way he can. His eyes roll back as he moans loudly at his boyfriend’s demand and fucks into Ennoshita impossibly faster, pistoning his hips up and down off the mattress as he chases his orgasm. Neither of them want to stop, it feels so good. Ennoshita lets his jaw fall open, more moans and high pitched whines escape as his eyes glaze over, completely pleasure drunk as Tanaka hits that spot deep inside of him over and over again. 

“I love you,” Ennoshita says, looking down at his boyfriend with a look of complete adoration. Tanaka cums a second later with a strangled gasp as he spills inside of Ennoshita with so much force that his entire body shakes. 

“I love you too,” he pants against Ennoshita’s throat as he rides out his orgasm. Ennoshita follows a few thrusts later, cumming untouched across their stomachs with a shout of Tanaka’s given name. 

Ennoshita collapses against Tanaka’s chest, his forehead coming to rest on the former ace’s shoulder. Tanaka wraps his arms around Ennoshita’s waist completely and pulls his boyfriend into a tight hug. Ennoshita’s body instinctively relaxes in Tanaka’s embrace, something that doesn’t happen with anyone else. Ennoshita is panting hard but he manages to trail a few kisses along Tanaka’s shoulder, “I love you,” he whispers into tanned skin. 

Tanaka feels warmth well up in his chest at the confession. He squeezes Ennoshita impossibly tighter and brings one hand up to run through his hair. “I love you, I love you,” he says back, pressing a kiss against Ennoshita’s hair. 

Ennoshita pulls back and holds Tanaka’s face in his hands. He takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry,” Ennoshita apologizes sincerely once again. Hot tears prickle his waterline and threaten to spill, he loves Tanaka so much. 

“We’re okay,” Tanaka reassures him, tilting his face up to kiss Ennoshita’s cheek. “We’re okay, I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed, it would mean a lot to me! ❤️


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